Adios Wisdom Teeth!

I grew up without health insurance for most of my 28 years of life. That means that I literally walked illnesses off and was probably responsible for getting other students sick at school. I did not know this at the time, but being the optimist that I am, I’m pretty sure I boosted/diversified their defense and immune system because none of them died. Since I did not kill them, science would argue that I only made them stronger. Booya! Even while sick, rarely did I feel terrible because plain and simply, I just got used to lacking medical treatment. This, however, does not explain my high pain tolerance. My mom’s ganchos (hangers) breaking across my back as punishment for misbehaving do. I’m just kidding, metal hangers don’t break.

When I first got hired a year ago, not only was it a salary job, but it came with decent medical benefits. I couldn’t believe it. I almost intentionally hurt myself just to use my health insurance and see what it was like. Good thing I was joking around with coworkers about this because one of them was kind enough to remind me that my insurance card would not be issued until 90 days later. Apparently there is a probationary period and IMSS (Mexican health insurance) is not recognized in the US either, kind of like Mexican degrees, immigrants, and el chupacabras.

If I would have grown up with health/medical insurance, I’m pretty sure I would have gotten braces in middle school. Not that I want them now, but it’s pretty much the first thing my dentist said when I went to my first dental appointment in many years. I didn’t take him seriously because he too had gaps in his front teeth. His gaps were freakishly symmetrical though so I guess that makes it OK? It also didn’t take him long to notice that my wisdom teeth were also flawed. I did not believe him until I saw the x-rays. For some reason my wisdom teeth decided to grow perpendicular to the rest of the molars underneath my gums. I had no choice, they had to go.

Today was the day I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I thought it was weird that I never even met the surgeon that did this deed. It was almost like I legally paid a mysterious person to roofie me, take my wisdom goodies and then suddenly be woken up from a bed in the back of the building to be escorted out with my bloody mouth. Forget my teeth, I checked my obliques for any signs of missing kidneys for good measure.

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