Because sometimes the only person that can make you laugh and smile is yourself…

Everyone has a tick or a jitter when they’re stressed out. I used to think I was in control of mine, but it has become very obvious in the office. “Stop eating your face” they tell me. Say what?
I have the bad habit of biting the inside of my cheek. In a weird way, I’m kind of stabbing myself with my wolf-like fangs. If you have ever seen me eat at a carne asada, you would know exactly what I mean. Even dogs stop chewing their bones and stare at me like “dang, this dawg (haha, get it?) must be the alpha”. After a few long hours of nibbling away, I can feel thin layers of cheek skin coming [...] Continue Reading…

I remember the first time I was able to flex my boobs. Well, it’s technically the “pectoral muscles” but boobs sound better. I was taking a weight training class and my scrawny high school frame had grown enough boob muscle to flex on command. It was one of many events where I believed I had finally become a man. Maybe I was putting in a little too much shoulder action to get my manly boobs to flex, but they flexed nonetheless.
Recently, I experienced another similar event that officially sealed my fate into manhood. I’ve been going to the gym the last couple of months and picked up actual weights that weigh more than toddlers. The last time I did [...] Continue Reading…

Hmmm, what the hell is happening to younger generations?! “The best thing about school is when it’s over” was the facebook status update I saw written by a cousin of mine who is only in the 4th grade. 4th GRADE!! I believe you’re still coloring pictures in the 4th grade. What can you hate about the 4th grade so much that it makes you want to leave school? Are kids not wanting to play four-square with you? Did the girl you like not give you a “Be Mine” card on Valentine’s day? You don’t even use deodorant in the 4th Grade! And I believe it was still considered cool to punch and/or pull your crush’s hair. Come on, you [...] Continue Reading…

Apparently, Koreans can hold their liquor. Rumor has it, even more so than Mexicans. I was shocked to hear that from a fellow Mexican coworker who previously worked and studied in Korea. According to her, it is customary in Korea to go out drinking after a long day of work…all week. Makes sense. But then again, we do too here in Mexico.
I don’t take pride in the fact that there is a lot of alcohol consumed by the masses throughout the day almost everyday in Mexico, but if the lifestyle and standard of living mirrored that of Koreans, I would applaud it (the drinking, not the higher standard of living). Unfortunately, Korea and Mexico are practically on the opposite [...] Continue Reading…

There comes a point where no matter how logical, rational and convincing you are, you just gotta give in to the demands of family. They gave me lemons and now I see I was squeezing lemon juice into their eyes all along (metaphorically speaking of course). “You don’t come over enough”, “You don’t like us anymore”, “You don’t call anymore”, etc.
OK family, apparently my visits, regardless of how seldom they may be, are quickly forgotten. If I go over to your house and don’t find you, I will now leave a note on your door detailing my frustration with your absence and my relentless patience as I waited for you to come back home. I will also attach a [...] Continue Reading…

Every morning when I show up to work, the office is filled with Korean employees. Several of them are “on the job trainees” (known in the office as OJTs). Two OJTs happen to sit right across from me and because we don’t have cubicles, everything and everybody is out in the open.
There is a saying in mexico that goes “el que no debe no teme”, which literally translates to “he who does not owe does not fear” but it can mean “he who has nothing to hide has nothing to fear.” Well, these two OJTs that sit in front of me have no fear. By the time I start my computer and fill my bottle of water and sit [...] Continue Reading…

There’s always a hot new video in each country that everybody talks about with their family and friends. With the spread of technology and easier access to the internet, Mexicans can now not only talk smack behind your back, osea chismear, but we can now humiliate you in video with your brilliant pedas. This may be an ancient early 2000’s thing for you friends living in the US and Canada, but not in Mexico. Youtubing any stupid thing you do will now happen on a more consistent basis. Oh, and we will immediately ask if you’ve seen the video online. Believe that.
Like most popular things that become hot online, they can quickly become annoying faster than an ugly kid [...] Continue Reading…

So the last 3+ months I’ve been working as a translator for Samsung Engineering. The job is not as exciting as it sounds and I quickly learned that I picked the wrong career (for now). I don’t make anything near what the lowest paid engineer gets paid. How do I know this? In Mexico there is a higher degree of transparency that never ceases to amaze me. People talk about their salaries as though it were a school exam grade. As a matter of fact, at my previous employer, in order to receive your paycheck you had to sign a payroll document that included everyone’s name and their respective salaries!
I wish my high school would have done a better [...] Continue Reading…

I guess it does work. We really do have more power than we think to make things happen. I miss writing goofy wonderings on my blog and that may explain my recent serious state of mind. So instead of diving into my fridge like I always do when I get home from work, I decided to sit down and write one simple blog post. That’s all it takes. A little determination and a few minutes of hunger. I’ve never felt closer to Gandhi.
Mission accomplished, helloooo torta…

Today at work, all the women were allowed to go home early for Mother’s Day. That made one women in particular go bananas! She pranced, skipped, leaped and frolicked throughout the halls. I had never seen her smile until today since she is THE señorita cara de fuchi of the office. To her, today is “go home early day” and not “Mother’s Day”. I get it, everyday is mother’s day but she didn’t seem excited about going home to see her kids. To top it off, during her ridiculous frolicking, she made sure to click her heels and tell every man around her that only women were allowed to leave work early. The only 2 things missing were lucky [...] Continue Reading…