Because sometimes the only person that can make you laugh and smile is yourself…

As Latino males (but more specifically, Mexican males), it’s a little awkward and too cheesy to express our love, affection, and even appreciation to family and friends while sober. Yes it’s an overgeneralization, but an overgeneralization that makes cultural sense (for example: machismo) and one that I can attest to from my personal experience. If you’re a Latino male and disagree, lay off the booze and we’ll see if the same corny words come out. I doubt it. It doesn’t mean you don’t feel those cheesy lovey-dovey emotions and affection towards family and friends, but vocalizing it can be tough. That is, of course, in comparison to our male Anglo counterparts.
Even expressing it to our parents can take a [...] Continue Reading…

One of the first TV shows I ever watched in the US was In Living Color. Classic sketch comedy with comedians before they hit their prime (Jim Carrey, Tommy Davidson, Damon Wayans, Jamie Foxx, even Jennifer Lopez with the Fly Girls). In Living Color wasn’t necessarily a kids show, but even a kid could appreciate the physical comedy and the sketches were short enough for the limited attention span.
One of my favorite characters was Homey D. Clown. What made Homey special was that he kept it real at all times. He made you face the elephant in the room that nobody wanted to talk about. He represented the elephant in the room embodied in the form of a clown [...] Continue Reading…

Monday through Saturday in order to get to work, I get on a public bus that drops me off at the company bus pick-up location that is 10 minutes down the road. In that short 10 minute ride, I get to see all kinds of people hop on; students, mothers, businessmen, etc. I pay the 6 peso fare, walk all the way to the back and pick the seat that is least vandalized and with the best viewing angle to observe people without appearing too creepy (good thing I don’t have bug eyes!). If you’ve ever sat in a bus and felt like someone was staring at you, yup, that’s me. Though I may seem like a potential stalker, [...] Continue Reading…

I have no problem lending both of my big ears so that you can complain about how your diet is not working and how your ass is genetically predisposed to attaching itself to comfy couches the moment you set foot in your house. After a while though, there’s only so much moping my ears can take. When I reach that breaking point, Payazaro steps in to the rescue and gives you a taste of your own medicine.
I tell the girls in the office, “Man, I’ve tried eating everything: greasy foods, healthy foods, not working out as much and still I can’t gain weight! I’m at the point where I’m considering brushing my teeth with lard just to let my [...] Continue Reading…

There is no denying that I’m an extrovert. Like most extroverts, I was always too busy being in the spotlight to pay attention to the small details in the environment and the people around me. However, over time I have developed an uncanny ability to isolate my attention to one particular thing in the midst of chaos. For instance, milk mustaches. Very chaotic.
I was chillin’ with my cousin having a good time eating cookies with milk. I was joking around and making her laugh to the point where she started choking on her cookie. I told her to drink some milk to wash the cookie down and so she took a big chug like a burly man would during [...] Continue Reading…

You know you’ve lived alone too long that when you see your reflection in the mirror you salute yourself and sort of expect a response.
I highly recommend it though, not the saluting yourself part, but living alone. Taking the time to live alone can be difficult at first, but it is one of the best things I have done for myself. I didn’t move to Mexico with that goal in mind, but it was a fortunate byproduct of my housing situation. Yea, you’ll start hearing random noises and tend to confuse the voices of people walking outside your house with the voices in your head, but the benefits that come from living alone are endless.
Warning: if you’re predisposed to [...] Continue Reading…

I’ve seen many types and kinds of mosquitoes, but I’ve never had one try to flirt with me as it did today. It was carefully gliding in the air as if it were scoping out the landscape in my work area. I didn’t make anything of it because I thought it was a fruit fly. Fruit flies are annoying and inferior to the mosquito, and unless you’re smelling kind of frooty, they leave you alone. Also, killing a fruit fly is like fishing in a barrel–its boring and no fun. Well, this mosquito knew this and took advantage of it. It nonchalantly flew over to my face the way tinker bell would. I was hypnotized long enough for it [...] Continue Reading…

When I was a young lad back in the camping days in good ol’ Washington, I never had a problem with mosquitoes. Maybe my blood was too spicy for them. Whatever the case, mosquitoes were never that annoying to me because I only went camping like once every twenty-some moons. In Manzanillo, however, mosquitoes make you feel like you’re camping everyday. They become inevitable and unavoidable house pets flying around your house.
That is why I decided to start a segment in my blog that will be called “Mosquito Chronicles” that will detail noteworthy moments and events. So to inaugurate this special day, I leave you with a cartoon that accurately depicts some of my nights with these [...] Continue Reading…

Before I was born, my mother took extra vitamins of R-E-S-P-E-C-T. As a newborn, you could see the abundance of respect overflowing from my eyes. I was never that greedy baby trying to hoard any breasts in sight. If you were a girl I liked in elementary school, I never pulled your hair. Instead, I just stared at it until you became uncomfortable. In middle school, I accepted your request to be my girlfriend just out of respect even though basketball was more interesting and entertaining than you. In high school, I picked up your books from the ground and carried them for you even though I knew you would misinterpret this kind and respectful gesture for me wanting [...] Continue Reading…

For all my bilingual people out there, what is it about the brain that prefers one language over the other? Or is it just me? Spanish is my native language and I didn’t learn conversational English until I was 9. I still remember learning English by sounding the words out in Spanish. The vocabulary words handed out in 2nd grade weren’t too difficult and by using Spanish as a spelling filter for English words made me a kick-ass speller. I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but at some point I started to think (as in my conscience) and dream in English. Coincidently, that’s when Spanglish unintentionally emerged in my speech. I didn’t view it as a problem then [...] Continue Reading…