Because sometimes the only person that can make you laugh and smile is yourself…

In Latin America, we live in a soccer frenzy world. With this frenzy comes much heckling, screaming, shouting, and even throwing inanimate objects onto the soccer field. Sometimes there will even be fist fights between fans to the point where they may develop into riots. However, there comes a point where this frenzy goes too far, like shooting a soccer player.

Club America is one of the more popular soccer teams in the Mexican soccer league. Last week, two of their players were shot in separate and unrelated incidents. Their famous leading scorer, Salvador Cabañas, was shot in the head at a bar for reasons still unknown. The very next day, his teammate Juan Carlos Silva was shot in the [...] Continue Reading…

I have always been a fan of Conan O’brien. It wasn’t my intention. I didn’t choose to like the guy. When you grow up without cable TV, you’re limited to a couple of channels. Fortunately, Conan has and continues to be very hilarious. I looked forward to watching his monologues and dorky sense of humor throughout middle school and highschool. To a certain extent, he greatly contributed to my passion for humor and comedy.

Unfortunately, I didn’t keep up with his show much during college and watched it even less after moving to Mexico. After I heard he was no longer doing his show, Payazaro’s heart teared a bit. I refuse to jump on the bandwagon and echo what the [...] Continue Reading…

Everyone knows that the war on drugs in Mexico has intensified over the last couple of years. What Mexican school teachers did not anticipate was the increase in popularity of “Narco” as a career choice among their students.
At a recent carne asada, the topic of young student’s career aspirations came up. An aunt of mine, who recently retired after teaching 30+ years in the Mexican public school system, discussed her struggle with disrespectful students who lost interest in their education because their highly coveted Narco lifestyle does not require it. How do kids between the ages of 5 and 13 get exposed to this idea? Who is to blame? Parents. That’s right, not the news or media, but parents. [...] Continue Reading…

I dedicate this post to all the people around the world who always remind me that life could be worse. People that don’t realize that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Do you not realize that there are people who pay thousands of dollars to inject botox into their face to reverse the effects of all of the crazy creases you are intentionally creating? To you my friends, I pay my respects and therefore revere you with the title of “cara de fuchi.”

What is cara de fuchi? I’m glad you asked. Well, let me break it down by taking a look at the word fuchi. No, it is not martial arts (though martial arts tend [...] Continue Reading…

I currently live in a country where I’m willing to bet that 9 out of 10 people are living paycheck to paycheck. This statement would still hold true even if the global economic crisis did not hit. Though the idea of saving is something people desire, their current circumstances do not permit it. These circumstances, however, are shared by the majority. So how do people renovate their house, buy their kids presents on their birthday and on Christmas, get that new TV, cell phone, laptop and fresh new nikes that can cost as much as their weekly income? Simple store credit.
I’m not talking about visa credit cards that you swipe and then access your monthly balance from an internet [...] Continue Reading…

It’s been quite some time since the Virgin Mary has made an apparition and I’m getting a little impatient. I’ve been in Mexico for almost 2 years and nothing. She has not miraculously appeared on a tree, a window, not even on a tortilla and I see a lot of those on a daily basis!

Growing up I always heard stories about the Virgin appearing in the most random places. I looked forward to the time where she would appear to me. But to this day, nada. Have I sinned too much? Must I hang around more Mexicans in Mexico? Is it because I did not throw rice out the window on new year’s? (I know, random, but don’t tell [...] Continue Reading…

Happy 2010 my peeps! Once again it’s been a while since I last blogged and that is not cool. I was thinking about the last time I made a new year’s resolution list and realized I’ve never created one. So to start the year right, I’m gonna fulfill the first one on my list:
1) Create a new year’s resolution list. Check!

2) Gain 10 pounds (If you knew what I looked like, you would make that 20 pounds).

3) Poke more fun at my primos and primas. Somebody has to be the cause of laughter.

4) See a cockfight (as in two roosters fighting).

5) Learn how to make seafood lasagna. I live right by the ocean, I have no excuse.

6) Throw [...] Continue Reading…

I’ve only been to a few concerts in my life, not because I haven’t been interested, but because they can be expensive. Call me codo, but there are only three singers or bands I would donate a kidney in exchange for a ticket: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Maná, and if she made comeback, Lauryn Hill.
While in Nicaragua, Pitbull (who is one of my favorite rappers) was making a quick tour for his Latin American peeps and I couldn’t believe how inexpensive the tickets were. For 20 US Dollars, not only did I get a VIP ticket, but open bar service as well! I looked long and hard for the fine print but my cousins told me to stop trippin’ [...] Continue Reading…

I always find it interesting how much we occult our believes and religious faith (or lack thereof) in public. I was so used to seeing the public practice of many religions throughout the US that I had forgotten how catholic Latin America truly is. Place yourself anywhere in Latin America, and I am willing to bet you that you will come across a Catholic church on your way to any bar. If it weren’t for colonialism, I’d almost say the Catholic Church did that on purpose. Talk about messing with your conscience. So if you’re about to go do something naughty, don’t even look the other way as you walk by, chances are there is another cathedral there too. [...] Continue Reading…

One morning I woke and picked up the local Nicaraguan El Nuevo Diario newspaper. I was reading an article about Michael Jackson and his impact in all of Latin America. I then turned the page and found an interesting article that discussed what Michale would have looked like if it weren’t for all those operations. A computer generated the following image:
Black and White Michael Jackson at Age 50

To no one’s surprise, the article argued that Michael would have been a very handsome black man. In all honesty, I think we can all agree that it would have been very difficult for the generated image to be worse than the disfigured reality.