I thought dinosaurs were extinct. Apparently they’re alive and they’re thirsty for human blood. One snuck into my house and its chupacabra eyes glared at me before its obese frame plummeted onto my desk. I never thought I would see this but I actually saw a mosquito walk. It was so engorged with human blood that it could no longer fly.
It had an interesting skip to its step which for a second tricked me into perceiving it as cute. It was enough to buy this dinosaur a few more seconds of life. I would have smashed its brains out on the spot but this mosquito required a tarp and several towels. I didn’t want my house looking like a murder scene! I flicked it off my desk with my finger and I watched it fall to the ground in slow motion like in the movie “300” when that Spartan kicked the Persian dude down the pit. Not gonna lie, it was kind of badass. Especially after yelling “This. Is. My House!” Shut up. It’s my blog sucka fish.