Bus Seat Shenanigans

If you show up on time you will have more to lose than if you show up late like everyone else. The early bird does not get the worm, it gets the shaft. The stereotype about Mexicans (in Mexico) showing up late is true and I don’t mean that in a negative way. It is expected that people will show up late and so you follow suit. I understand that everyone else will be rushing in at the last minute so I look for ways to take advantage of that (not of them). One practical way: buying my bus ticket to travel out of the state ahead of time.

When the bus employee asked me to pick my seat by pointing at the computer screen, I couldn’t believe it, all of them were available. Positive reinforcement point for doing things early! I had to take a minute and consider all possibilities before picking my seat… I didn’t want to sit all the way in the back because that’s where the restrooms are and nobody likes the fragrance of fully digested chicharrones with salsa Valentina. Picking a seat in the front is just asking to die if there were ever a head-on collision. The middle is also dangerous if we are ever T-boned by another bus/vehicle/semi-truck. Forget the chicharron stench, I’m sitting a few seats in front of the middle section. All of this went through my mind in like 2 seconds. Then came the best part, “would you like window or aisle seat?” Window all the way baby! Never underestimate the power of a window seat. You have the power to let sunlight in or to cover it up with the curtains and you can lean against the window for better neck and head support that an aisle seat will never provide.

When it was time to gather my things and depart to the bus station, I realized I was running late. Then I really “LOL’d” because I quickly remembered I was in Mexico and would most likely be the first passenger to arrive. Nel pastel! To my surprise, when I got on the bus it was almost full. I get to my seat and there was an adult body passed out resting its big elk-head against the window where my head should have been. Just because I saw earrings on this head and long hair didn’t mean it was a woman. In Manzanillo we get all kinds of people trafficking through. But apparently buying my ticket before everyone on this bus really didn’t make a difference to this nappy headed body lounging on my spot! Oh hell no. Time to play the party pooper. Am I an asshole now for waking her up? I just gave her the cara de fuchi and kindly let her know that she needs to get her eyes checked because EVERYBODY gets to see the computer screen with the exact seat they’re buying. Oh yea, I proved it.

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