Flight Attendants & Pilots

I have never seen an ugly flight attendant or pilot. They always look so tidy, well groomed, presentable, perky, and handsome. Their robotic posture gives the impression that they were programmed to please you and make all your dreams come true. OK, maybe not all your dreams, but they definitely use their looks to distract you from the long flight that lies ahead.

I wonder how HR screens aspiring flight attendant applicants. There must be a check box for “pretty” that is weighed heavily during the interview. There’s no way it can be a coincidence that all the applicants were good looking, but then again, maybe evolution is taking its course and leaving all the ugly people behind and unable to reproduce. That can’t be it because there’s always more ugly people in sight in the real world.

I have yet to see a female pilot on my flight. All the male pilots I have encountered standing at the plane entrance always look like models. Maybe it’s their cute little cap, clean shaven look and sparkly white teeth. They even build up their glamor pre-flight time as they chat it up with the rest of their pretty pilot colleagues and entourage of flight attendants surrounding them.

Don’t get me wrong, they definitely walk the walk. The moment the flight attendant offers me something to drink, I accept it even if I’m not thirsty. I would hate to disappoint them and make them feel like their cheesy smile was in vain.

As the plane is about to land you can feel the pilot’s good looks and perfect smile filter through his voice as he reminds you that the weather out there is hot as hell or an ice-box, but it doesn’t matter because his soothing voice is reassuring, chipper and optimistic. And we believe him, because after all, he is good looking.

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