Category — General

I’ve never met a kid that did not posses imagination. You can see it when they’re playing with toys, cow pies, empty boxes and anything else we adults throw into the trash. They really do remind us that one person’s trash is another kid’s never-ending fun and entertainment. My favorite is when kids go on with their random and playful behavior as though no one were watching. Well, I watch (in the non-creepy kind of way). Even introverted and antisocial kids hold much creativity and imagination behind those sealed lips. The moment you get them talking you begin to realize that picking their brain can be quite entertaining and inspirational.

The cool thing about imagination is that we can personalize it any way we want. Some color their imagination with scary monsters, while others dream of the prettiest unicorn and bilingual walking humpback whales. Me, well, I dreamed of flavored ice cream falling from the sky.

The idea didn’t just randomly appear in my head. I was misled to believe that by my US-born cousins. They had come down to Mexico for vacation and one day showed up at my house.  As I started to get to know them, the conversation of snow came up. They began telling me about the cold winters in the US and how when it gets cold enough snow falls from the sky. I was 6 years old and had never been outside of Mexico. With the daily tropical heat, I thought it was impossible. I was intrigued. You see, the English word “snow” literally translates as “nieve” in Spanish. Well, “nieve” just happens to be one of two Spanish words for ice cream (the other being “helado”). Obviously, kids aren’t the best story tellers, but a story from one kid to another is as real as the oxygen we breathe.

To make a long story short, the day I did go to the US, I was very disappointed. Not only did the snow not taste like vanilla, it was flavorless. There must have been acidic rain a few hours before it started snowing. I was devastated. Probably one of the harshest realities I’ve had to face in my entire life (even to this day!). Way to let a kid down mother nature!

I think everyone has a way they eat M&Ms. Some grab a handful and stuff them all in their mouth at once, others first let them melt in their hands or eat them one by one.

I had no idea my “method” of eating this delicious candy would get me in trouble with my now fiancée. You see I eat M&Ms by pouring them all out on the table. I eat all the brown M&Ms first and then proceed to eat whichever color there are the most of until all colors have an equal amount. Then I will eat them in groups, well, I eat certain colors within the groups first – red, then orange, and then blue, yellow and green however I grab them first.

My fiancée asked why in the world I do this. Specifically he asked, “why do I eat all the brown ones first?” Instead of saying something like “because they look the most like real chocolate,” or “because they are my favorites,” I proceed to tell him “the brown ones are the ugly ones.” A perfectly innocent response until I looked up into his big brown eyes and tanned skin… Whoops… I mean… Uh… Um… Uh… Shoot!!

He burst into laughter after making a comment about why I had to racialize my M&M consumption… At least I was off the hook from my seemingly OCD behavior. Needless to say, I still eat the brown ones first, but now because they are the sexy ones

I’ve never considered myself a tree-hugger (but I might literally try it one day just for fun). However, I am socially aware of the damage we cause to our dear mother earth and it does bother me. With all the media coverage on large oil spills, natural disasters, corporate greed and their neglect of toxic waste and contamination, and even the societies that have to cleanup the mess and aftermath of war, we somehow think that our empty bag of tasty potato chips was meant to decorate the beach, the sidewalk, parks, and any other public space.

One of my all-time favorite highway signs in the US is the one that says “Litter and it will hurt”. I never knew if it was meant to be a threat to me personally, or to point out the consequences on the environment. Perhaps the government intentionally made it vague and left it open to interpretation for a reason…to make us think. With all these green movements picking up momentum, I won’t be surprised if one day a “Green Gestapo” with a large police stick will be ready to pound you the moment you throw your gum wrapper out the car window.

I have made an effort to hold people accountable for their reckless disposal of garbage in my presence. Sometimes it’s the stink eye, the cara de fuchi, and when I feel talkative, a question or two to let the person know someone is always watching. I can create awkward moments really well You can’t just throw your beverage can out the public bus window and act like nothing happened! In the words of Ice Cube, “you better check yo self before you break yo self.”… suckafish!

Laughter is a beautiful expression. It’s pretty addicting if you ask me. I’d rather have a twelve-pack of good jokes and laughter than a keg of the best beer this world has to offer. Yet, we have been socialized to laugh and joke at appropriate times and settings. Some cannot fathom the idea of joking in a moment of despair. However, if I were to confine my laughter to the “appropriate” time and setting, my life would be filled with despair. That’s the beautiful thing about humor, because it’s subjective, what is funny to one person can be offensive to another. I won’t go into why a joke can be offensive because that’s a whole thesis in itself and I deliberately keep my blog posts short for a reason.

I strongly believe stand up comedy is one of the most powerful tools and venues to educate, heal, incite, and make people ponder about ideas and things beyond themselves. You don’t need a joke to do that, but using a joke as an instrument can make that experience (and the actual content of the joke) unforgettable. There are comedians that provide humor for the sake of humor itself. At the basic level, that is very much appreciated especially after a long day filled with stress. However, when a comedian can craft and write a perfectly funny joke that cause his/her audience members to think, understand something at a deeper level, or challenge their views (for good reasons) of any given topic is what I look for in a comedian. Don’t just show me the funny, show me the smart funny.

For those comedians that chose to pursue stand up as a career, as a fellow fan I challenge you to challenge my thinking with your jokes. I dare you to bring me into your world where hot feels cold, where pain feels real good, where rainbows have neon colors and where dead puppies are still cute. At the end of the day laughter is great, but intent and purpose is what I’m learning to value the most.

When I was in the US, if the name Bill Gates came up in conversations, people tended to say positive things about him. I used to hear jokes in school about how Bill Gates was so rich that his house had its own zip code (which is not so funny when you realize it’s true!). Although some dismissed Mr. Gates as a man too rich to understand 99.99% of us, those same people could not deny the good work and contribution Bill was making around the world with his donations and philanthropy work.

When I worked with students a couple of years ago, I used to ask them if they knew who the richest man in the world was. The popular answer: Bill Gates. I encountered one or two cool nerds that knew that answer was no longer correct. The richest man in the world is Carlos Slim. Instead of asking these students if they knew who Carlos Slim was, I focused their attention on WHY Bill Gates was no longer the richest man in the world. He gave, and continues to give, back.

One of my favorite vocabulary words in high school was “oxymoron”. Whenever I think of Carlos’ last name, my brain quickly registers that word. Carlos’ last name accurately reflects his generosity. It’s almost like he gives back because he feels he has to or his businesses will suffer. Nobody wants to support a business that belongs to someone with a mentality like Ebenezer Scrooge, especially a sassy Latino version.

I have yet to meet a Mexican in Mexico whose opinion of Carlos Slim is more positive than negative. Maybe I should go interview his financial adviser. So why is Carlos’ image so negative? There’s no need for a dissertation or powerpoint presentation to answer this question. Plain and simply, he’s codo (stingy). Many Mexicans I spoke to about this expressed embarrassment to the reality that the richest man in the world is a fellow compatriot who is not doing more within his position of privilege to help his country. Instead, he’s focusing more on his business empire. Mr. Slim, maybe you don’t want to help Mexico in ways that other wealthy people have in other countries. OK, fine. But it is self-righteous and pompous (another favorite vocab word of mine) to ridicule those who genuinely give back with the wealth they’ve been blessed with.

A couple of years ago, Carlos Slim gave his perspective on what he thought about giving back like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett: “…businessmen can do more good by building solid companies than by ‘going around like Santa Claus’ donating money.” Don’t let the Santa Claus reference distract you. Mr. Slim, when successful professionals give back, they’re not always giving back as “businessmen”. They’re giving back as human beings that willingly accept the responsibility of  utilizing their wealth to aid the world in sectors that greatly need it. Consequently, they ARE contributing to the “building of solid companies” in many respects. Companies, organizations and foundations that do not necessarily belong to them either.

Maybe Carlos should get a better PR guy to help improve his image, but my guess is that he doesn’t have one. The Grinch never needed one either. Sometimes image is everything and Carlos Slim can definitely improve it.

OK, we’re all thinking it but nobody is saying it, so I will. If I ever write something on your Facebook wall and you don’t respond I will defriend you. No, that’s not “a little extreme”. Some people think that you’re not friends in real life if you’re not friends on Facebook, and my action to defriend you will honor that. Real friends respond. Period.

Or what, are you just adding friends to be a cool cat in a virtual world that feels so real? OK, we’ll see what happens at your funeral with your 1,239 Facebook “friends”. Maybe your mom can set up 1,239 computer screens with the mug shot of all your so called Facebook friends. But guess what? My pretty Latino face won’t be there! Or what, are you collecting friends like a kid collects Pokemon cards? You gotta “catch ‘em all”? As an adult, that is weak sauce.

Some of you have even blocked or removed the option to write on your wall! Pretty smooth, but that doesn’t keep me from letting you know that I want to talk to you. But Nooooooo, not even a private message gets you to respond. The least you can do is poke me back! I may be super sensitive, but like my little cousin says, you’re a jerkmuffin.

And don’t act like you haven’t been on Facebook in a while and therefore haven’t seen my message. There’s a thing called news-feed on my homepage and it tells me everything you do on Facebook. It’s like stalker-mode on autopilot watching your every move. It even notified me of the uploaded picture where you got wasted and took a dump in your neighbor’s yard with your recent comment of “please delete this picture!”. Again, pretty smooth…

So, in summary, don’t be surprised if I suddenly show up on your side bar as a suggested friend you should add. You may click “add friend” to re-add me, but I may not respond to your friend request. Maybe then you’ll know how it feels…you jerkmuffin.

What I love about life is that it always gives you opportunities to learn, grow, and challenge yourself on a daily basis. Those who say otherwise must be rich bastards. A big part of having a life is living it, and that means deliberately. How does one live life deliberately? Goals.

It would be pretty cool to be born with a life-long itinerary filled with prearranged activities, events, and things to do until the day you die. Even if each and every one of those activities tickled your fancy in a positive way, your personality would be as dynamic as a cave door. I don’t know about you, but I want me some personality!

We all have goals, but it’s crazy to think about how many of them we actually see completed even if they lead to failure. How can a goal lead to failure? If your goal was to go to college but you flunked out, guess what, goal completed but you, my friend, failed. That’s why goal specificity is VERY important. Moving on…

Chilo, one of my best friends from high school, moved in with me last year for about 6 months. He always talked about buying an accordion and playing his favorite corridos and banda music…Mexican country, if you will. Chilo had a heart for it. It’s what gave him a lot of his personality. Yet, he never managed to fully manifest that kick-ass personality with an accordion in his hands. He had the goal, but even today, he lives on without ever getting his hands on one. What Chilo did is something that we all do. We place some of our most reachable goals in a “bucket list” that will be completed at some point in the distant future even though we want them NOW. We put them off even though they’re important to us. That’s why I believe you should treat your goals like a bucket list. You become a “go getter” and enjoy them now instead of when you’re old, frail, and being held down in your wheel-chair by your adult grand-kids on an airplane, because they remember you telling them you wanted to go to Antarctica when they were children and they never forgot.

So Chilo, thanks for the inspiration. I finally bought my guitar this afternoon. Get your accordion and come jam with me!

Which reminds me, I used to think fulfilling my “bucket list” of things I want to do before I die was something I would do when I’m older. Like if doing them once was enough. F-that! I’m gonna be that old man going through his bucket list for the tenth time reminiscing and living each time with those I love the most. My grandchildren will know that their grandpapi is no joke, maybe a little crazy, but with a lot of personality